Church Hurt

Church Hurt

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

For week’s I didn’t know how to start this blog, as many pushed me to do this blog, because church hurt is a sensitive subject to talk about where many have given up, many are bitter and many like me, not anymore gave up on the church and questioned the Christian community (DISCLAIMER - THIS IS NOT TO EXPOSE ANYONE WHO I FELT ATTACKED BY AS NAMES/ORGANISATIONS WON’T BE MENTIONED THIS IS TO HELP NOT PUT DOWN OR CRITICIZE).

So let’s get down to the nitty gritty. I got over my church hurt 5 years ago, and I compare church hurt to one of Killmonger (Yh I’m using a Black Panther analogy, don’t cry, don’t beg about spoilers you’ve had more than a month to watch it!!!! Lool) so back to my point Killmonger is those who’ve gone through church hurt, Killmonger who is Black Panther’s long lost cousin and arch nemesis that’s abandoned in the U.S by Black Panther’s dad and the Wakandan community after his dad was killed in self-defence. As I watched Black Panther I felt Killmongers pain and all those church hurt memories came flooding back, in my time in the cinema as I watched the epic film, how does this to compare to those who’ve gone through church hurt? Killmonger was abandoned by his own people and left to fend for himself and became bitter and vengeful, THE CHURCH IS ABANDONING many believers, believers who have nowhere to go in this world and the church is meant to be their last hope. How many times did the church let me down? (Disclaimer – once again I’m not here to expose or attack my Christian community I’m here to point the problem and give a solution). Would you like to know what church hurt I went through? I’ll list them; my ex pastor told me to lose weight after a football session in front of all the men in the church do you know how humiliating that is? Yes he was looking out for my health which I now appreciate it, now I understand that but if the execution is poorly done then your innocent intentions means jack all, but to do it in front of all the other males in the church and have people laughing at baring in my mind I’ve been bullied about my size so imagine how low and insecure I felt, my whole life till this day that day still haunts me. I had another member whom I forgiven and I’m cool with even now funnily enough with, lied about my virginity to my then girlfriend. A family member of mine confided in one of the youth leaders only to find out their confidentiality was abused and told people, I’ve had wild allegations thrown about my family. Even though I’ve forgiven them and I’m over it my blood boils writing this, my ears feel like to burst and my mind races like Gareth Bale on the Bernabéu touchline, because why should we be going through this in the church? How many times when there’s a rape/sexual abuse case the church judging the victim? Or members gossiping about ones business or lies being told about you? Tbh I’ve probably put church hurt on someone so I’m no saint but we need to be careful of how we treat people in the church. We need to remember we are all human beings and we need to remember iron sharpens irons let’s not entertain gossip as hard as this is, even I myself can be caught up in this at times, which I try to stay away from as its one of those lethal seeds of the devil and is killing the modern day church slowly like vermin eating poison. Let’s not judge people’s past’s let’s not patronise peoples pain & struggles, and those of you who are reading this blog and have positions in your respective church be careful of how you handle the souls in your denomination. Make them feel welcome, be loving, be accepting of one another and as other and I’ve experienced this is people in the church letting you suffer on your own, and leaving you when you need them the most. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow even now I still feel not wanted in my church by some of the members. I sense as some of them give me funny looks as I walk through my church doors or still judge me for my silly past. But that don’t bother me because I only answer to God, yes I’m not perfect, but I’m transparent if that means not being liked so be it we are here to please God not a mere mortal. Those of you who have been through church hurt or are going through like I advise many people on this issue, is to forgive, because the devil wants you to go back to the kingdom of this world and be filled with hate and bitterness like a sour lemon, and if you’re not happy in your church ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to a church where you’ll loved, be accepted and grow. Like I said I overcame my church hurt in 013 and it took me a long time I had to fight this pain in my heart, I had to forgive those and even speak/message them asking for forgiveness because if we don’t forgive our enemies, God won’t forgive us. Matthew 6.15 Jesus was rejected by his people and they crucified him and before he went away he asked God to have mercy on them, Luke 23:34 Thank you for reading my blog and those who encouraged and gave me tips to write this please watch out for my weekly Christian Blogs.

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